*This has not been updated to include canon beyond the TLJ novel.

Kylo Ren – An Origin Story

We don’t know much about Ben’s life before the plot of The Force Awakens begins. The intel we do have comes to us indirectly via Leia, Luke, and Han, but, though filtered through their subjectivity, the information is canon and very important.

The first in a new era of Jedi Knights, Luke Skywalker took it upon himself to pass on what he had learned. … Skywalker’s first student was to be his sister, Leia. However, she ultimately decided that the best path for her to serve the galaxy left no room for the extended isolation of Jedi training. As Leia concentrated on her new family and senatorial politics, Luke began his travels… (Hidalgo, 2017, pg. 46)

In Aftermath: Empire’s End, we witness some of Leia’s pregnancy as well as the special bond she shared with her son through the Force.

But her baby boy? Him she can effortlessly feel inside her. Not just the way that all mothers can feel the living creature within, but she can feel him with the invisible hands of the Force: With it she senses the margins of his burgeoning mind, she knows his mood, she can tell that he’s healthy. He is less a human-shaped thing and more a pulsing, living band of light. Light that sometimes dims, that sometimes is thrust through with a vein of darkness. She tells herself that it’s normal—Luke said to her, Leia, we all have that. He explained that the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. … My son is alive. The future is bright. (Wendig, 2017, ch. 25)

During her pregnancy, Leia experienced strange, frightening dreams and felt that her baby was troubled at times.

Her name, spoken in the dark. … The dark, now lit with stars. One by one, like eyes opening. Comforting at first, then sinister as she worries, Who is out there, who is watching us? Hands reach for her, hands of shadow, lifting her up, reaching for her throat, her wrists, her stomach— Inside, the child kicks. She feels her baby turning inside, right-side up and upside down, struggling to find his bearings, trying so hard to find his way free of her. It’s not time, she thinks. Just a little longer. … Luke, she wants to cry out. But her words won’t come. Her mouth is sealed, a hand pressed over it. One by one, stars go dark again, winking out of existence as if by a hand slowly closing over them— She gasps and wakes. … The dream recedes like a wave going back to sea. … Her middle twists, too—it’s not the baby. It’s some unseen fear uncoiling. The remnants of the dream haunt her—but they break apart like a sand castle as she sits up and clears her head, doing as Luke taught her to do. (Wendig, 2017, ch. 10)

Right now her son is upset, tumbling inside her as if he can’t get comfortable. His light, flickering with the dark. … The baby turns inside her again, troubled by something she cannot feel and cannot yet understand. (Wendig, 2017, ch. 25)

While not stated outright, I believe this is not only evidence that Ben’s soul was conflicted long before he drew breath, but also that Snoke coveted him before he was even born. Leia more or less says this in The Force Awakens novelization:

[Han] met her eyes steadily. “We’ve lost our son, forever.”

Leia bit her lower lip, refusing to concede. “No. It was Snoke.”

Han drew back slightly. “Snoke?”

She nodded. “He knew our child would be strong with the Force. That he was born with equal potential for good or evil.”

“You knew this from the beginning? Why didn’t you tell me?”

She sighed. “Many reasons. I was hoping that I was wrong, that it wasn’t true. I hoped I could sway him, turn him away from the dark side, without having to involve you.” A small smile appeared. “You had—you have—wonderful qualities, Han, but patience and understanding were never among them. I was afraid that your reactions would only drive him farther to the dark side. I thought I could shield him from Snoke’s influence and you from what was happening.” Her voice dropped. “It’s clear now that I was wrong. Whether your involvement would have made a difference, we’ll never know.”

He had trouble believing what he was hearing. “So Snoke was watching our son.”

“Always,” she told him. “From the shadows, in the beginning, even before I realized what was happening, he was manipulating everything, pulling our son toward the dark side.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 14)

“Snoke had targeted this kid, who knew that this kid was going to be incredibly powerful in the Force, and wanted him as an ally. So this mother and a father had a target for a son; someone was watching their boy.” – J. J. Abrams, “Secrets of The Force Awakens – A Cinematic Journey”

In 5 ABY (After the Battle of Yavin), Ben was born on the very day that the Galactic Concordance was signed; a peace treaty between the New Republic and the Galactic Empire, it formally marked the end of the Galactic Civil War. If that’s not symbolism—born on the day the light side and the dark reach an agreement of peace (superficial, but still)—I don’t know what is.

On the day the Instruments of Surrender are signed, a child is born on Chandrila to Leia Organa and Han Solo. Friends and family gather. … Stories of the birth range from the dramatic and fortuitous to the utterly inauspicious—one story suggests that the birthing chamber was occupied for three whole days while Leia struggled. Another tells the tale that it was fast and painless: She merely needed to calm herself and meditate to make the moment as untroubled as a mountain lake. Some say the boy was born with a shock of black hair, others that he had a full set of teeth, others still that he was just a baby like any other, sweet one moment, screaming the next, and nestling at his mother as any healthy child does. What is known is this: The child’s name is Ben, and he takes his father’s last name… (Wendig, 2017, ch. 38)

In his new role as father, Han definitely felt out of his element, while Leia seemed much more at ease with parenting. Through the Force, she connected to Ben in a very special way, but she insisted that Han would also share a unique bond with his son, and so there was no need for him to feel jealous.

…[T]he galaxy is a far stranger place than he figured on if it’s letting him be a father. … Ben starts to cry. Han winces. … He looks around him like there’s gotta be something or someone there to save him—nearby, he finds a small tooka doll that Lando sent over, and he takes it and thrusts it into the air above the boy and wiggles it. … It does nothing to stem the tide of tears. …

“Han,” Leia says, coming over to him… “It’s okay. He’s a baby. Babies cry. It’s how they tell you they want something.”

“Oh. Yeah, no, of course. Maybe you could do your—” … Leia has a connection with the kid that he can never have. Like Luke, she has the Force…she can quiet the kid with but the faintest of gestures. He hates to admit it, but he’s jealous of that. Han will never have that with Ben. They’re connected in a way he can’t even begin to understand. “You know. Use the Force.”

… “He’s your son. … Pick him up. He wants to be snuggled.”

… He stoops down and gingerly reaches for his son. …[H]e does what feels most natural—he protects the kid by bringing him close to his chest. And just like that— Ben stops crying. …

“See?” she says. “You don’t need the Force at all.”

“But I’ll never have what you have with him.”

“You don’t have to,” she says, sweetly. “You will have your own thing, because you’re his father.” (Wendig, 2017, ch. 38)

It sounds as if Ben could have had a pretty decent childhood, aside from the conflicting energies inside him and Snoke’s prying eyes. Maybe his earliest years—years he may not remember well, if at all—were very happy. Han and Leia loved each other and their son. In addition to the examples above:

As Leia finds her peace, so does her son. He stops turning… Then he gets the hiccups. Hic. Hic. Hic. She sighs…[b]ut she laughs, too. Because the hiccups tickle her. They’re like little bubbles inside—a curious effervescence like nothing Leia has ever felt before. (Wendig, 2017, ch. 25)

…Han says in a low voice: “Hey. It’s you and me, kid. Whole damn galaxy against us but we’ll make it through okay. I’m not always gonna be the best dad—c’mon, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I can barely take care of myself. But I’ll always keep us pointed in the right direction…even if we zig and zag a little to get there. There’s your first lesson: Sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t mean following a straight line. Sometimes you gotta—” He takes his hand and gestures with it like it’s a fish swimming this way and that, left and right and up and down. “Don’t tell your mother I said that.” (Wendig, 2017, ch. 38)

“Never imagined this,” Han had murmured, sitting up in their bed late at night, Ben’s tiny head resting in the crook of his father’s arm. “Having a kid. Even wanting a kid. But now he’s here, and—”

“And you’re a dad.” Leia had leaned closer, unable to resist the chance to tease her husband. “Just think, hotshot. Someday you might even be a granddad.”

Han’s chuckle had warmed her. “Speak for yourself, sweetheart. Me, I ain’t ever getting that old.” (Gray, 2016, ch. 1)

Han was just as committed to his current crop of young pilots. Leia wished she could believe he mentored them out of the same impulse that had led him to befriend Luke; probably, on some level, he did. But Han was also teaching these kids the same lessons he’d wanted to teach their son. (Gray, 2016, ch. 4)

[Casterfo’s] expression reminded her a little bit of Ben’s when he was little, running in after an afternoon of roughhousing with his friends, hair mussed, absolutely filthy, and proud of himself. (Gray, 2016, ch. 8)

Han’s image faded. Leia hoped the next message would be from Ben… (Gray, 2016, ch. 14)

Leia called upon her memories of Ben as she smiled at them, hoping they would perceive her as motherly. (Gray, 2016, ch. 27)

But despite the love Han and Leia shared, their personalities, interests, and resultant lifestyles clashed, and that left little Ben feeling abandoned, ignored, and displaced.

He’s fully dressed. That means he’s been up for a while. She senses something coming off him: a restlessness, a fear of settling down that only leaves him more unsettled. An image forms clear in her mind: Chewbacca. Han misses his copilot. … And he has a hard time calling [Chandrilla] home. Home for him has always been the Falcon. …[S]ince saying goodbye to Chewie, this is how he’s been. He goes to bed after her. Wakes up before her. Like an animal in a cage, pacing, pacing. (Wendig, 2017, ch. 10)

They’d been apart too often in their marriage. Too long. Han’s restlessness had been a large part of that, but he couldn’t take all of the blame. Leia had remained stuck here, mired in the political muck. … Although he ran his shipping company on the go, he was a far more vigilant, responsible owner than he liked to let on. The life he led these days took him all around the galaxy… Han studied her for a few moments, then began to grin. “You realize—after three months on the same ship, we’re gonna kill each other.” (Gray, 2016, ch. 2)

Yes, Leia had given her entire life to her duty, but at least she’d given it in a good cause. Thanks to her husband, brother, son, and many friends, nobody could say she’d sacrificed all of her happiness or love. If she’d managed to create some stability for the galaxy, and if she could continue to do so in this new role, then wasn’t it all worth it? (Gray, 2016, ch. 22)

Leia let go of all the frustration she felt at Han’s long absences, all the bickering they’d never grown out of. In the end, she knew, he would always come through. (Gray, 2016, ch. 27)

[Han:] “Well, don’t worry. You don’t have to deal with this alone, all right? I’m willing to be here as long as you need me.” Willing. That one word said so much. Leia didn’t doubt Han’s love for her, but she also knew that he would always be a wanderer at heart. He would stay with her on Hosnian Prime for a year or more if she asked, but she would feel as if she’d clipped a bird’s wings. (Gray, 2016, ch. 28)

[Leia] glanced downward, remembering, then met his gaze once more. “You still drive me crazy.”

[Han:] “Crazy as in crazy good, or crazy as in borderline insane?”

“Probably a little of both,” she admitted. … There’d been too much arguing over the years, [Han] knew. (Foster, 2015, ch. 15)

If anything is consistent in Han Solo’s life, it is unpredictability. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 46)

On the smoking battlefield of Takodana, Leia encounters Han Solo in an awkward reunion. Their complicated feelings must be put aside to focus on the graver matters at hand. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 56)

Tumultuous would be a fitting word to describe the relationship between Han Solo and Leia Organa. In their younger days, when faced with the backdrop of war, their opposite natures and impulsive drives led them to romance. Their feelings have stood the test of time, even though the dynamics of their relationship have been forced to change, adapting in the face of external conflicts and personal tragedy. The two will always share a love that comes from knowing someone so completely. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 57)

“Can you imagine those two people together? They were good initially, and then they reverted to type.” – Carrie Fisher, “Secrets of The Force Awakens – A Cinematic Journey”

“It’s about these two people who loved each other, who came together, but whose natures were always very different. You know, the idea of Han remaining in one place is hard to imagine. The idea that Leia would stop fighting for the cause and a greater good—that’s hard to imagine. … Snoke had targeted this kid… And these parents aren’t there enough to guide him.” – J. J. Abrams, “Secrets of The Force Awakens – A Cinematic Journey”

“There’s nothing more powerful than genetics. If you really imagine the stakes of him, in his youth, having all these special powers, and having your parents kind of be absent during that process—on their own agendas, equally selfish—he’s lost in the world that he was raised in and feels that he was kind of abandoned by the people that he’s closest with. He’s angry because of that, I think, and he has a huge grudge on his shoulders.” – Adam Driver, “Secrets of The Force Awakens – A Cinematic Journey”

Leia knew Ben “was born with equal potential for good or evil.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 14) But at some point during his childhood, she feared the influence of Anakin Skywalker’s blood would tip the scales, and Ben’s darkness would eclipse his light. Hoping Luke, a Jedi, could prevent such a fate, she sent Ben to train with her brother.

“He’s gone, Leia. He was always drawn to the dark side. There was nothing we could’ve done to stop it, no matter how hard we tried.” [Han’s] final words were the hardest to get out. “There was too much Vader in him.”

“That’s why I wanted him to train with Luke,” Leia said. “I just never should have sent him away. That’s when I lost him. When I lost you both.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 14)

In Bloodline, which took place in 28 ABY, over twenty years after Ben was born, Leia was preoccupied with her job as a senator for the New Republic; yet she often thought of her son, who was, as far as she knew, still with Luke. I don’t mean to imply he wasn’t, but as I haven’t found a specific timeline of events to follow, the destruction of Luke’s temple could have already happened, since “the wider galaxy would not know of this calamity for years to come.” (Hidalgo, 2017, pg. 47) I would like to think Leia would have sensed the tragedy through the Force, but I can’t say for certain she would have.

Circumstances separated her from her family, and she desperately missed the “three men she loved so dearly.” (Gray, 2016, ch. 25)

Tai-Lin inclined his head. “You would wish to join your brother and son, I imagine.”

[Leia:] “I miss them, yes. Still, I imagined living with my husband again…” (Gray, 2016, ch. 13)

Leia felt a pang of loneliness that she hoped didn’t show on her face. … [She] looked down at Joph and Korrie, recognizing anew how young they were. If she could not act as a mother to her own son right now, she could at least help these two… (Gray, 2016, ch. 18)

She knew it had to be this way, but never before had her separations from Han, Ben, and Luke been more difficult to bear. (Gray, 2016, ch. 25)

But Leia had no idea what was going on with Ben. Luke “kept the location of his Jedi training temple a strict secret, known only to members of his burgeoning Order” (Hidalgo, 2017, pg. 47), so she didn’t even know “[where] they were in the galaxy.” (Gray, 2016, ch. 4) She did try to communicate with her brother and son, but their messages were infrequent and “badly corrupted by radiation interference.” (Gray, 2016, ch. 4) When she communicated with Han, she would ask him if he “had heard from Ben or Luke (though she knew he wouldn’t have).” (Gray, 2016, ch. 10)

She became aware that Lord Mellowyn, the figurehead governor of a planet called Birren, had passed away, and that she was first in line to succeed him. But she felt she “shouldn’t be the person inheriting the governorship of Birren,” and she couldn’t “see Ben taking much interest in the governorship, either.” She removed herself—and therefore Ben—from the succession. (Gray, 2016, ch. 10)

Leia’s primary antagonist in Bloodline is Darth Vader—or rather, his legacy, since the Sith lord himself was long dead. To Leia’s knowledge, the only living persons privy to the truth of her biological parentage were she, Luke, and Han. She had not yet told Ben, who was now about 23 years old. But one of her enemies found out and used the scandalous information to destroy Leia’s career as well as her credibility.

One day she would have to reveal all this to her son. The truth of Vader’s identity had shattered her; she could not imagine what it might mean to Ben. At least Luke could tell Ben the most important part—that Vader had, in the end, been redeemed. (Gray, 2016, ch. 13)

She needed to explain to Ben that they’d kept from telling him because they’d wanted to find the right moment. She realized now that she’d been fooling herself. Luke, too. There could be no good time to learn news this devastating… Her message to Ben would be about comforting him, not finding any consolation of her own. (Gray, 2016, ch. 23)

[Leia:] “I hadn’t even told my son. Now he has to find out in the most horrible, public way imaginable, all because of you. … Even if you still felt you had to shout it out to the entire galaxy, you could have talked to me privately first. Given me a chance to speak with my son.” …

“You had your chances to speak to your son,” Ransolm insisted. “He’s not a child any longer, is he? You could’ve told him at any point before this. Do you think you’d ever have had the courage to tell the truth?”

“What I kept from Ben, I did for his own good—or what I hoped was his own good. Now we’ll never know.” (Gray, 2016, ch. 24)

Hopefully, when Ben heard this someday, he would understand, too. (Gray, 2016, ch. 25)

As far as I can tell, the next major event in Ben’s life was the night he became Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren betrayed the other Jedi students studying with Master Luke Skywalker, and is responsible for their destruction. He has well earned the nickname “Jedi Killer,” whispered in the First Order ranks… (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 26)

Han’s POV:

Han pursed his lips; thinking back, remembering. “[Luke] was training a new generation of Jedi. There was no one else left to do it, so he took the burden on himself. Everything was going good, until one boy, an apprentice, turned against him and destroyed it all.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 10)

Luke’s first version:

[Luke:] “For many years, there was balance. And then I saw Ben. My nephew, with that mighty Skywalker blood. In my hubris, I thought I could train him, I thought I could pass on my strengths. Han was…Han about it. But…Leia. Trusted me with her son. I took him, and a dozen students, and began a training temple. By the time I realized I was no match for the darkness rising in him—it was too late.”

[Rey:] “What happened?”

[Luke:] “I went to confront him. And he turned on me. He must have thought I was dead. When I came to, the temple was burning. He’d vanished with a handful of my students—and slaughtered the rest. Leia blamed Snoke, but…it was me. I failed.” (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Johnson)

Ben’s POV:

[Ben:] “Did he tell you what happened that night?”

[Rey:] “Yes.”

[Ben:] “No. He’d sensed my power, as he senses yours. And he feared it.” (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Johnson)

Luke’s second version:

[Rey:] “Is it true? Did you try to murder him?”

[Luke:] “Leave this island now.”

[Rey:] “Stop. Stop! Did you do it? Did you create Kylo Ren? Tell me the truth.”

[Luke:] “I saw darkness. I’d sensed it building in him. I’d seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction and pain and death and the end of everything I loved because of what he would become, and for the briefest moment of pure instinct, I thought I could stop it. It passed like a fleeting shadow. I was left with shame—and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him.” (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Johnson)

After finding out about what happened at Luke’s training temple, Leia and Han were at a loss as to how to move forward. So they regressed, and Luke disappeared.

[Han:] “Luke felt responsible. He walked away from everything. … The people who knew him the best think he went on a personal quest, looking for the first Jedi temple.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 10)

Since the fiery collapse of his Jedi training temple, Luke Skywalker has put that part of his life behind him, focusing instead on the task of living on Ahch-To. … He has lost track of time on the island. (Hidalgo, 2017, pg. 44)

Han dipped his head. “We both had to deal with it in our own way.” He shrugged. “I went back to the only thing I was ever good at.”

“We both did,” Leia admitted. (Foster, 2015, ch. 14)

The Resistance is a small private force created by Princess Leia Organa to keep watch on the movement of the First Order. Though she petitions the New Republic government for support, she finds the politics of the senate too slow and too mired in self-interest to be of any help. The New Republic tolerates the Resistance, though it is wary of risking war with the First Order. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 8)

After the Galactic Civil War, Han Solo’s life took unexpected turns…[b]ut the peace … was not to last, and after a profound tragedy upended what had become normal for the Corellian, Solo returned to his old life as a tramp freighter captain, smuggler, and freelance law bender. Chewbacca returned to Solo’s side, and although much had changed, in many ways it was like the old days. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 46)

Even after Ben Solo fell away and Kylo Ren took his place, his parents loved him, grieved for him.

Left alone again, husband and wife also embraced. Han murmured over her shoulder, “I saw him. He was here.” Hearing this, she closed her eyes. They let the silence take them. (Foster, 2015, ch. 13)

“I didn’t plan on coming here,” [Han] explained. “I know whenever you look at me, you’re remind of him. So I stayed away.”

She stared at him, shaking her head slowly. “That’s what you think? That I don’t want to be reminded of him, that I want to forget him? I want him back. … [N]othing’s impossible, Han. Not even now, at this late time. I have this feeling that if anyone can save him—it’s you.”

He wanted to laugh derisively. If he did, he knew she might never speak to him again. “Me? No. If Luke couldn’t reach him, with all his skills and training, how can I?”

She was nodding slowly. “Luke was a Jedi. But you’re his father. There’s still light in him. I know it.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 14)

“If you see our son,” Leia whispered, “bring him home.” [Han] nodded without speaking. (Foster, 2015, ch. 15)

A request that would never go away, he knew. It would never go away. He made up his mind. Instead of retreating, he advanced. Instead of running for safety, he took up the challenge. There was no real choice, he told himself as he advanced to the edge of the walkway. And called out.

“Ben! … Take off that mask.” Han’s tone was a mix of command and empathy. “You don’t need it. Not here. Not with me.”

[Kylo Ren:] “What do you think you’ll see if I do take it off?”

Han moved forward slightly. “The face of my son.”

“Your son is gone.” …

Reaching up, [Kylo Ren] slowly removed the mask. For the first time Han saw the face of his son as a grown man—and it jolted him. “That’s what Snoke wants you to believe,” Han [said]. He wasn’t pleading—just stating a fact. “But it’s not true. My son is still alive. I’m looking at him right now.” Stepping out onto the walkway, Han moved toward his son. There was no hesitation in his stride or in his voice. “Snoke’s using you for your power, manipulating your abilities. … [Y]ou know that I’m telling you the truth. Because unlike him, I have nothing to gain from it.”

“It’s too late,” [Kylo Ren] said.

“No, it’s not.” Halfway across the walkway now, Han continued to move forward, smiling. “Never too late for the truth. Leave here with me. Come home.” Without the slightest trace of malice or deception, he cast a dagger. “Your mother misses you.” …

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” Ren moved out onto the walkway toward Han. “Will you help me?”

“Yes,” Han told him. “Anything.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 17)

After the night he found his uncle standing over his bed, poised to strike a death blow, Ben joined the dark side and became the apprentice of Snoke, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, which is “a remnant of political hardliners locked in a cold war with the New Republic” who eventually “[broke] away to reform in the Unknown Regions…” (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 8)

Snoke’s physical skills may have faded, but his Force-aided abilities to persuade, manipulate, and perceive are tremendous. (Hidalgo, 2017, pg. 35)

Kylo Ren is an adopted name; his birth name is never spoken, by decree of the First Order’s Supreme Leader. …[K]ylo Ren’s helmet conceals his identity and adds to his imposing demeanor. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 24)

Snoke is powerful in the dark side of the force, but he is no Sith. That thousand-year lineage stretching from Darth Bane to the last Sith lord, Darth Vader, was undone when Vader died destroying his mentor, Darth Sidious. The fulfillment of an ancient prophecy foretold the end of the Sith, but it never predicted the end of darkness. (Hidalgo, 2017, pg. 34)

Kylo Ren is no Jedi, nor is he a Sith. He is the archetype of a new generation of dark side users that have emerged to fill the void left by the Sith’s demise. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 24)

As his power rises, it eclipses his past life leaving the young man further isolated. Kylo Ren aspires to build immunity to the light side—to succeed where Darth Vader and his sentimentality once failed. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 26)

---

So what does all of this mean? What can be read between the lines of this vague origin story?

Well, to me, a Ben Solo sympathizer–

It means Ben has a delicate ego. I mean that matter-of-factly, not deprecatingly. It could be that the conflict inside him exacerbates his sensitivity, or it could just be the way he is. And that delicate, sensitive ego was not prepared to withstand the pressure that came with his pedigree.

It’s a bit dramatic to say Ben was set up for failure before he was even born, but I think the claim as merit. Even if he wasn’t aware of his relation to Darth Vader, I imagine his parents’ reputations and accomplishments, as well as Luke’s, were enough to give him at once a feeling of entitlement, almost as if he were royalty, as well as an overwhelming obligation to succeed.

Some say that the golden boy, Luke Skywalker, made an appearance… (Wendig, 2017, ch. 38)

Would he insult her husband, a war hero and a racing legend? (Gray, 2016, ch. 6)

“This was you and your brother, yes? The famous Luke Skywalker?” Casterfo now looked as eager as a child who wanted to hear his favorite story again. (Gray, 2016, ch. 8)

Leia had been a senator at Korrie’s age (16), and not even as old as Joph (~23) when the Rebellion won the Battle of Endor. (Gray, 2016, ch. 16)

[Varish Vicly:] “When the first Death Star was built, even before the galaxy at large had learned of this monstrosity, Princess Leia received the station’s plans—the very one that revealed the weakness leading to its destruction! … As the Star Destroyer Devastator closed in to capture her vessel, it was Princess Leia who had the presence of mind to extract the plans from the Tantive IV’s main computer core and hide them within a droid that could be jettisoned to the nearest planet undetected. Had she not, we would no doubt be living under Imperial tyranny still.” Nothing in the speech was inaccurate… Varish kept going, describing acts of valor and heroism that Leia remembered as moments of pure terror. But she took pride in hearing about Luke and Han’s heroism at the Battle of Yavin, about her own bravery on Vrogas Vas, and about how she, Han, and Chewie had taken down the shield generator on the forest moon of Endor. (Gray, 2016, ch. 22)

It wasn’t his countenance that awed them: It was his name. Han Solo. A legend of the Rebellion against the Empire. Trader, pirate, con man, and fighter extraordinaire. It was hard to believe he was real, Finn thought. Solo was history come to life. (Foster, 2015, ch. 7)

That’s a lot for a kid to live up to; no doubt Ben grew up feeling that he had to be as amazing as his forebears, or he would be considered worthless. By the events of Episode VIII, he probably felt that he had failed them all—his mom, his dad, his uncle, and Snoke, too. He’d failed to live up to his potential, failed to become what they wanted him to be, failed to earn their respect and regard. He failed to become anything worthy of their attention, much less their affection, and therefore he didn’t matter. He was nothing compared to them.

And while Snoke stroked Ben’s fragile ego, he expected even more from him.

When next Snoke spoke there was an intimacy in his voice… “I have never had a student with such promise—before you.”

Ren straightened. “It is your teachings that make me strong, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke demurred. “It is far more than that. It is where you are from. What you are made of. The dark side—and the light. The finest sculptor cannot fashion a masterpiece from poor materials. He must have something pure, something strong, something unbreakable, with which to work. I have—you.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 10)

[Snoke:] Now, I fear I was mistaken. … You’re just a child in a mask. (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Johnson)

Leia and Han’s absentee-parenting did not provide sturdy support for Ben’s self-esteem, which crumbled more and more as he got older. While they loved him, while there were good, happy moments, overall they can’t have demonstrated their love well enough.

Han was restless and frequently gone for weeks, if not months, at a time. He might have taken Ben with him on shorter, safer trips, but Leia probably didn’t want Ben spending that much time away from home, if for no other reason than to attend school regularly. (I assume kids go to elementary/primary in Star Wars; I haven’t seen it mentioned in canon yet, but they’ve got to, right?) So Ben can’t have accompanied his father often. And I mean, judging by how much the very sight of the Millennium Falcon irritates him— “Blow that piece of junk out of the sky!” (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Johnson)—he doesn’t remember it fondly. (Plus Chewie and Walk-Away Rey were using it to sabotage his defeat of the Resistance. Insults upon injury, I figure.)

Leia was preoccupied with her senatorial career and worried more about the stability and prosperity of the New Republic than she did about providing her child with the attention, support, and guidance he needed to be secure in his value as her son and as an individual. I imagine she spent less and less time with him as he grew older and became less dependent on her for survival. And when she was around, she likely wasn’t completely there, mentally. I have a feeling her disregard hurt Ben more than Han’s, because she and Ben shared that special bond through the Force.

I believe that special bond was the reason he was able to kill his father, but not his mother. If so, sadly, Han was right to be jealous.

Is it possible that Ben was unreasonably needy and selfish? More than possible, I’d guess. I think the ever-present struggle of principles inside him—and his being aware of them—increased his self-consciousness and diminished his confidence, prompting him to seek an abundance of positive reinforcement. And there is that Little Prince entitlement mixed in there, too.

And don’t forget—if Leia was having dreams of prying eyes while she was pregnant, think of the monster Ben must have seen frequently in his closet. Pale, gaunt, hideously scarred and deteriorating. Watching him from the shadows. Waiting.

That kid was destined to be seriously messed up. He was a perfect storm waiting to make landfall. And when he did…devastation.

Growing up, Ben was forced to fit his square personality into a round hole, so to speak. He possessed equal potential for both light and dark; it wasn’t necessary for him to pick one or the other, but one dominating the other was all the galaxy knew, and so he felt he had to choose a side. Frightened by his strength of power and innate darkness, Leia sent him off to Luke, the last Jedi, resident expert in the light, hoping Jedi training would keep the dark at bay.

I don’t know when Ben was sent away or how long he was with Luke; I’ve come across no specific time frames (though I would guess a decade or more). But he was young, and from the point-of-view of a young boy who already felt abandoned in his parents’ presence, Ben likely felt Leia’s decision to send him away meant that she and his father no longer wanted him underfoot. He was too much of a bother; their lives would be easier if he were gone. They were giving up the ghost and simply getting him out of the way.

I believe that’s when his resentment toward them began to fester in earnest. In a weird way, it’s a “fool me twice, shame on me” situation—Ben wanted them to love him unconditionally; they didn’t (in his mind); and he was ashamed of both needing that love and not meeting his perceived conditions to earn it.

Ben learned the ways of the Force and the Jedi, though the darkness inside him kept him from fully committing to the ideals of the light. Unfortunately, Luke had his head up his ass and failed to fully register the developing issue from inside his rectum, giving Snoke an opportunity to come out of the shadows and begin his seduction.

I’m not sure how or when Ben found out about Vader. Since Luke kept the Order so isolated, I’m disinclined to think that Ben found out via the public like Leia feared he would, although it’s possible. But it makes more sense to me that Snoke revealed that juicy nugget to him, considering the Supreme Leader’s dialogue in Episode VIII: “When I found you, I saw what all masters live to see—raw, untamed power. And beyond that, something truly special. The potential of your bloodline. A new Vader.” (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Johnson)

Snoke coveted Ben because:

[1.] The Supreme Leader believes Ren to be the ideal embodiment of the force, a focal point of both light and dark side ability. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 24)

[2.] Snoke took Ben Solo as his apprentice as he believed only someone of the Skywalker bloodline could destroy the last Jedi. (Hidalgo, 2017, pg. 35)

That connection to Vader was not only Snoke’s motivation but also his selling point. Selling point because, to Ben, learning of Vader set a precedent for him. I’m sure Snoke emphasized that Vader, too, struggled against the light inside him. Vader, too, trained with the Jedi; Vader, too, was an advocate for the light at one time. But he found his true place with the dark side, and used the light inside him to achieve great power. Then the fool lost it.

[Snoke:] “…The historians have it all wrong. It was neither poor strategy nor arrogance that brought down the Empire. You know too well what did.”

Ren nodded once. “Sentiment.”

“Yes. Such a simple thing. Such a foolish error of judgment. A momentary lapse in an otherwise exemplary life. Had Lord Vader not succumbed to emotion at the crucial moment—had the father killed the son—the Empire would have prevailed. And there would be no threat of Skywalker’s return today.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 10)

Ben could relate to Vader, and Snoke approved of his equal potential for both light and dark. Considering that, Ben might have begun to see the dark side—or at least tutelage under Snoke—as a kind of haven, or promised land, a place where he didn’t have to pretend one aspect of himself didn’t exist. It was a place where he could use both energies to his advantage.

However, if Ben wanted to reach his true potential, to be everything he could be…he also had to quash any nasty sentimentality. I imagine that was the drawback for Ben; as much as he wanted to be great and powerful, he didn’t want to forsake his family. As Leia had hoped, Jedi training kept the light inside him strong. Though they hadn’t given him what he needed, he loved his mom, his dad, and his uncle. Though they didn’t seem to care, Ben strove to impress them. He bent, and bent, further and further—

And then Luke tried to kill him, or so it seemed. And Ben broke.

His mom sending him away was a punch to the gut. His father not stopping her made his heart ache. But Uncle Luke—Master Skywalker—trying to kill him obliterated any shits Ben still gave.

After failing his parents, Ben had a second chance to earn the regard of someone he no doubt looked up to; and his hard work was rewarded with an assassination attempt.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Screw his family! Why should he care about them if they didn’t care about him? He tried. He tried so hard to be a Jedi, to be what they wanted him to be. But it wasn’t enough. He was never enough. They want him to go away. They want him dead. He’d show them. He’d be more powerful than they could have ever imagined. And he wouldn’t be a Jedi.

He didn’t walk, he ran to Snoke, and I think he didn’t look back for a long, long, long time.

The saddest thing is, Leia and Luke both wanted to prevent Ben’s darkness from rising—but they did exactly the wrong thing, sending him away and thinking of killing of him, respectively, and ultimately pushed him over the edge.

Confused as to why Snoke would want Ben to have light inside him? That’s okay; I thought it was odd and contradictory for a moment, too.

Let me ask you something. Have you ever had your heart broken? Grieved deeply for any reason? Been so depressed that you could not keep your eyes open, much less get out of bed and function? It’s not a good feeling. Makes you desperate for a remedy—withdrawing from the world, ignoring your responsibilities, overeating, drinking, getting high—or an outlet, which typically manifests as violence in some fashion, usually physical. And at some point, you get angry with the perpetrator of your pain—the Powers That Be, the teacher who gave you an F on a project you worked hard on, the best friend who began to ignore you, the love you’d given your heart to and who had declared it insufficient, the driver’s ed teacher who drove over your puppy (fact).

The bigger the heartbreak, the grief, the depression; the greater the pain, the greater potential for your wrath. Then comes bitterness, and resentment, hopelessness. Something that once made you happy—the epitome of the light—now causes you such an agony that it feels as if it’s rotting you from the inside out.

Light can, inadvertently, cause you pain. It’s a natural consequence. And pain feeds darkness. Also natural.

Ben was in pain, and Snoke capitalized on it. Fueled it.

[Kylo Ren:] “I’m being torn apart. I want—I want to be free of this pain.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 17)

Snoke coveted the power each kind of energy could provide, and he figured, behaviorally, it was a case of mind over matter. Snoke thought he could train Ben to utilize the full power of both sides of his potential while also teaching him to ignore any feelings of compassion or sentimentality to the point of not even knowing they’re there. The result, theoretically: a ruthless dark warrior with power the likes of which the galaxy had never before witnessed.

But it didn’t quite work the way Snoke wanted it to. Ben never managed to completely disregard the light inside him. Because, I think, he didn’t really want to. Not on a conscious level; on a conscious level, he was angry, and bitter, and resentful, and he did everything he could to extinguish that godforsaken light that was causing him so much pain. If he could just get rid of the light, the pain would follow. He killed his father for that purpose—but the effort was in vain, because on an instinctive level tucked away so deep inside him he couldn’t reach it, he doesn’t want to have to be apathetic.

That instinct is the needy little boy inside him who still wants to be accepted the way he is. He doesn’t want to have to choose the light side or the dark. He never did, but those whose regard he sought said he did have to choose, and so he tried. He followed orders, first for the light and then the dark, even after he was a fully grown, very intelligent man unto himself, because he was perpetually seeking attention, acceptance, approval, and support, to say nothing of affection. He wanted to be told once, just once, that he didn’t have to sacrifice one part of himself for the other.

Can you imagine the devotion he would show toward the person who finally did?

If only Ben had had a friend like Aibileen growing up. He’d have heard every day, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” (The Help, Taylor)

This is not to say that Ben is blameless. Not at all. Whether he’s Kylo Ren or Ben Solo, he’s made his decisions with his big-boy britches on; he’s accountable for his actions, good or bad. He needs to repent for his sins; his innocent victims deserve justice. Forgiveness can’t be bought with one kind gesture, one kind word; it has to be earned through many. In my opinion, anyway.

But that’s not my point. My point is, in this discussion of nature versus nurture, the nature argument is null and void.

Where the hell did I get that idea? *sighs*

But her baby boy? Him she can effortlessly feel inside her. Not just the way that all mothers can feel the living creature within, but she can feel him with the invisible hands of the Force: With it she senses the margins of his burgeoning mind, she knows his mood, she can tell that he’s healthy. He is less a human-shaped thing and more a pulsing, living band of light. Light that sometimes dims, that sometimes is thrust through with a vein of darkness. She tells herself that it’s normal—Luke said to her, Leia, we all have that. He explained that the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. … My son is alive. The future is bright. (Wendig, 2017, ch. 25)

Right now her son is upset, tumbling inside her as if he can’t get comfortable. His light, flickering with the dark. … The baby turns inside her again, troubled by something she cannot feel and cannot yet understand. (Wendig, 2017, ch. 25)

[Leia] nodded. “He knew our child would be strong with the Force. That he was born with equal potential for good or evil.” (Foster, 2015, ch. 14)

Ren straightened. “It is your teachings that make me strong, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke demurred. “It is far more than that. It is where you are from. What you are made of. The dark side—and the light. …” (Foster, 2015, ch. 10)

The Supreme Leader believes Ren to be the ideal embodiment of the force, a focal point of both light and dark side ability. (Hidalgo, 2015, pg. 24)

Ben’s nature is ambiguous; he’s equally light and dark. Therefore, it was up to outside influences to shape his choices. Don’t get me wrong; he made his choices—but its the reasons behind those choices you have to consider.

Leia and Luke and Snoke played tug-of-war with Ben. Leia didn’t pull hard enough, trusted Luke to be stronger—but his grip was weak, too, and Snoke won.

But now Snoke is gone. Luke is gone. Han is gone. And, unfortunately, Leia is all but gone. Ben has sunk to the ground, sitting on the dark side of the Force teeter-totter…

All Rey needs to do is hop on the other and lift him up. (Figuratively; obviously he’s twice her size.) It might take them a little time to find a rhythm, but eventually, I believe they’ll be tottering in harmony. A little give, a little take. Let fall, lift back up. Find their balance.

I don’t know how else to explain the fact that Ben isn’t inherently evil; he only chose evil because it allowed him to empower himself, protect himself.

I hope this is helpful. Being objective was never going to be possible, but I tried to be fair.

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Bonus Story

A Recipe for Disaster

While the dark side of the Force remained vigilant, the light side was lax for nearly three decades. After Luke was trained and the Empire was defeated, it needed a breather. Because, wow, that was intense.

There’s peace. In the kitchen, the light stirs together two dishes, each consisting of harmony, compromise, and prosperity. Only one is necessary for the time being, so it tucks the other away before calling to the dark side, which meanders in with its chin up and glare haughty.

If you want to add anything, do it now. The light is nothing if not fair.

With dignity, the dark tosses in some struggle and adversity before leaving again.

When the dark has gone, the light drizzles pure hope on top of the mixture before sliding the dish into the oven and setting the timer for a few years. Then it retires to its bed.

Once the light’s snores shake the known world, the dark side quietly reenters the kitchen. Smelling the sweet scent of hope, it counters with the sour and bitter flavors of greed, secrecy, lies, and distrust.

The light’s alarm trills, and darkness hurriedly leaves the room.

Drowsy and half-asleep, the light hits the snooze button and checks on the dish in the oven. Hmm… Not quite turning out as it would like. Han and Leia’s parenting leaves something to be desired, but Luke’s started a training temple, so things are going well enough. There’s still hope. The light goes back to bed.

Again the dark side returns to tamper with the concoction. It adds a pinch of unrest…a dab of selfishness…a dollop of hubris…a generous portion of pain…malice…betrayal…fear…some more pain…and finally a sprig of despair. He slides it back into the oven, turns up the heat, and walks away with a grim smile. Then he waits.

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP—

The light jolts out of bed at the sound of the smoke alarm. Dazed, it stumbles through a haze of black smoke to the kitchen. And finds…

The temple. The Jedi. Gone.

The light falls to its knees and cries out. No.

The dark side strolls in. Oh, dear. It clicks its tongue against its teeth and shakes its head sadly. Pity. It takes the charred, foul-smelling concoction in its hands and turns to leave. When will you learn to keep a closer watch on it?

You’ll pay for this! The light side brandishes its balled fist.

No. The dark side glances back over its shoulder. Not proud, not happy, but exasperated. They will. Again. It goes off to enjoy its chaos.

Weeping, the light crawls back to its bed and mourns the great loss. For long years, while the dark relishes its feast, the light wallows in bed, sleeping fitfully. And one day, it remembers.

The other dish.

Sprinting to the kitchen, the light finds the other dish it tucked away and stirs in generous portions of kindness, compassion, bravery, selflessness, love, and forgiveness. It goes to pour hope over the top—

Only a few drops trickle out.

The light had used too much last time. Wasted it.

The current mixture would have to do.

Sliding the dish into the oven, the light side of the Force cranks up the heat—and then it stands there. Vigilant.

Shoulder propped on the door frame, arms crossed, stomach full to the retching point, the darkness watches. Smirks.

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Works Cited

Foster, Alan Dean. Star Wars: The Force Awakens. New York: Del Ray, 2015. Ebook.

Gray, Claudia. Bloodline. New York: Del Ray, 2016. Ebook.

The Help. Dir. Tate Taylor. Perf. Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Bryce Dallas Howard. Dreamworks, 2011. Film.

Hidalgo, Pablo. Star Wars: The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary. New York: DK Publishing, 2015. Print.

Hidalgo, Pablo. Star Wars: The Last Jedi Visual Dictionary. New York: DK Publishing, 2017. Print.

“Secrets of The Force Awakens – A Cinematic Journey.” Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Dir. J. J. Abrams. 2015. Blu-ray. LucasFilm, 2016. (I wasn’t sure how to cite that; included as a bonus feature on the blu-ray, it’s a documentary about the making of TFA. I referenced interviews with actors Carrie Fisher (Leia Organa), Adam Driver (Kylo Ren/Ben Solo), and director J. J. Abrams.)

Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Dir. J. J. Abrams. Perf. Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Adam Driver, and Daisy Ridley. LucasFilm, 2015. Film.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Dir. Rian Johnson. Perf. Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Adam Driver, and Daisy Ridley. LucasFilm, 2017. Film.

Wendig, Chuck. Aftermath: Empire’s End. New York: Del Ray, 2017. Ebook.

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Introduction: Ben Solo – Villain or Antihero?

PART II

Parental Parallels

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